BE the reason

It’s nice when we hear someone tell us all the good things they want for us. It’s really wonderful to have someone or some people in our lives who constantly tell us they want the best for us…that they want to see us grow, be happier, smile more, be healthy, fulfilled, successful, have more confidence, and so on. Life is just better that way….but that doesn’t even scratch the surface of what we need.

Two little girl friends

If you’re a NICE person in someone’s life, you probably tell that person that you want the best for them. You encourage them and tell them that just like they want for themselves, you want the best for them too.

But you see, there is a difference between being a NICE person in someone’s life, and being a GREAT person in someone’s life.

In order to be a GREAT person in someone’s life, you have to BE the reason why they feel or have those things. You can’t JUST put them AT physical or emotional arm’s length and tell them nice things. No. To be great in someone’s life, you have to come close and actively CONTRIBUTE to those things you say you want for them.

This is important thought for ALL types of relationships.

Want them to be healthier? Don’t take them out to dinner and always order all the unhealthy crap for them to eat. Want them to hit the gym more? Hit the gym with them. Want them to be confident? Then MAKE them feel that way when you are around. PUT them in situations where their confidence will grow. Want to see them grow spiritually? SHARE deep spiritual things with them when you get your revelations. Want them to be happy, don’t just tell them to go get some happiness, BE a source of happiness. Want them to pray more, pray WITH them.

Don’t just tell someone you want the best for them. BE the best for them. TWEET THAT

You know what’s heartbreaking? Many of us are in friendships and relationships where we have no idea what we really contribute to the other person’s life. We are simply concerned about making sure that the other person is still meeting our requirements for a relationship. We are here as long as they love us, care for us, make us laugh, buy us things, make us look good, make us feel good etc. We are not taking time to ask ourselves if we are really making a difference in their lives.

There are many friends that go out together every weekend but are contributing nothing of real substance to each other.

There are many couples that have a good relationship, but are not really contributing value to each other.

(Hover over image to share image)

Couples coexisting

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

What exactly have I contributed to this person’s life that has nothing to do with what I get back or with material things? In other words, what have I contributed to this person’s life that helps them in their life outside of me? Have I made a worthy contribution to their life?

How are they better because of my specific contribution?

Here is a good one….Have I contributed to this person’s life in such a way that if we went our separate ways tomorrow, they will take a lot from me that will be useful in their life forever?

It isn’t about money or material things AT ALL. It’s about becoming a source of positive impact for someone.

Now, I Know it may be difficult to literally be that trigger, buffer, or enhancer all the time. You may not be in physical proximity and you may not have the financial or time resources to do this for everyone in your life. That’s ok.

However, for those that you DO have the proximity and resources for, you better make them count.

The beauty of this is that it’s not just for the benefit of the person you do this for. In fact, not even close. It’s for YOU. IT’S FOR YOU!! How? Well,

The moment you become a source of growth, happiness, health, confidence, fulfillment etc for others, you begin to have those things and feel those things for yourself. You begin to grow more, feel more happiness, have more confidence, have more fulfillment,  love yourself more and you begin to live a life that really matters…BECAUSE YOUR LIFE MATTERS TO OTHERS.
Tobi Atte


Help others and give something back. I guarantee you will discover that while public service improves the lives and the world around you, its greatest reward is the enrichment and new meaning it will bring your own life.
Arnold Schwarzenegger

Get it?!!!!! You start to FIND and SEE meaning in your own life because of how obviously meaningful it is to others.

That’s soooo powerful!!! Think on that.

(Hover over image to share image)

Interacting with Jesus

THAT’S how it ought to be.  The people who have you in their lives should always be able to say “It’s a good thing they have you or met you”.

So there you have it. If you have not actively contributed to the things you say you want for those you care about, get to work. BE the reason why they are happier, healthier, growing, more confident and more capable of getting the best out of life. Do it for them…do it for YOU.