New Life Resolutions Part 6 - You Got Slapped in the Face by Last Year. This is How You Evaluate and Slap Back to Make This Year Way Better (+ FREE Strategic Thinking Worksheet)
Many people are still sore or in shock from the slapping they got from last year. I mean don't get me wrong, many of us put up a pretty good fight but let me tell you...for most people I have spoken to, last year felt like someone punched them in the face, slapped them around and threw them into a roller coaster...unbuckled.
It kind of reminds me of that MTV show from the early 2000s called DIARY. It's tag line was "You think you know but you have no idea". That's probably what last year felt like.
But guess what...that's life and the good thing is that if you are reading this, the slapping, the beating, and the roller coaster ride didn't take you out. You are still here...you made it into this year and guess what. This year can and should be better but ONLY IF YOU TAKE THE INITIATIVE TO LEARN AND POSITION YOURSELF FOR THAT.
Here are some extremely powerful questions that will help you reflect on last year and immediately refocus your life to help you achieve this year what you couldn' last year (I have also taken this a step further and created a free worksheet for you to do some high-level strategic thinking for this year. Keep reading.)
These are tough questions but if you truly reflect on them, you WILL notice the positive difference almost immediately.
Before you continue, I need to give you a heads up. This is not the article you rush through. It requires you to think, to learn and to take action in order to get the best out of it. This is probably one of those articles you want to save and will probably come back to a couple of times.
(WORKSHEET AVAILABLE AT BOTTOM)
PART A - LOOKING BACK AT LAST YEAR
Here we go
1.Where did I spend my important resources last year
(emotional resources, time resources, intellectual resources and financial resources)
So:
Emotional resources - Where did my emotional highs and lows come from last year? Relationship stress? Work stress? Family Stress? (Those are all negative and unproductive) OR were the highs and lows from launching my company, creating a product, working on a project dear to my heart, exhausted from making a contribution or a difference in a cause important to me?
Time resources - Think about it. REALLY think about it. How did you spend your time? No need to get too detailed here. Just ask yourself
*Last year, was I busy in general or was I productive specifically in the things that really mattered for me and my future?
*Last year, how did I spend my downtime (Time outside work, faith activities or school)?
*Did I automatically opt for scrolling through social media or watching TV? OR did I use that time wisely to better myself or do something meaningful? (E.g reading a book, learning a new skill, doing research on a business idea I have or even spending quality time with family?)
*Intellectual resources - Between school, work, and church, you were part of what seemed like 500 teams last year. That's not really the problem. The problem can be two-fold.
a)You did not give your best in about 90% of those teams. You were a member...but you were not "there"
b) For the teams you were present in and did your best in, you seemed to be able to generate intellectual energy for them...but not yourself. You spent a gazillion hours on conference calls but couldn't seem to come up with the intellectual capacity to do meaningful research about the food you eat or the business you want to start. You spend the day taking care of things eternal to you end the day completely useless to yourself and wonder why your life feels like it didn't move forward. Being part of teams is good but if you are going to be there, then BE there otherwise, you are creating intellectual clutter. That said, remember that you can't be so useful to teams that you become useless to yourself (Because you will eventually end up useless to the team)
2.Did I try to conform my life to my goals or did I conform my goals to the life I want?
People set new goals and creating resolutions. Not bad. The problem is that most people are doing this mindlessly. They are taking publicly standard or popular goals and trying to confirm their lives to those commonly accepted goals (Save more, lose weight, etc) instead of really figuring out what they really want and then creating custom goals for the life they want. Many people fail in their goals not because those goals in of themselves are bad but because the goals were not inspired by people's true vision for their lives.
(Don't forget to get the personal strategic thinking worksheet below. Keep reading)
3.Did my goals utilize all or at least most of my (gifts, talents, abilities) or did my goals hang on a limited part of me?
Let me break that down. When your goals utilize your gifts, talents and abilities, you are more alive.... you are more motivated, you have more internal energy to work towards the goal and you are most certainly more resourceful.
Now...when your goals don't involve your natural gifts and talents, they will be more of a struggle.
Listen to me VERY carefully here.
I am not saying that the only goals worth setting are the ones that come naturally because they are part of your natural gifting or that they should only be ones directly tied to your gifting and abilities. (because some goals will require you to go well outside your comfort zone.)
What I am saying is that you should always try and bring MORE of yourself into your goals...that will make the goal more achievable.
For example.
You want to learn a new language...that can be hard. But let's say you love cooking and love trying food from different places. Well, you can start learning a new language by learning the names of the foods and ingredients in that language. That will most certainly go better, faster, and certainly be more enjoyable because you brought more of who you naturally are, into the goal.
So again...last year, did you bring more of yourself into your goals? If the answer is no, that may be one of the reasons you didn't accomplish or follow through on your goals. They were too far outside of yourself.
Figure out how to do this and I promise you, things you considered difficult will become easier.
4. What did I really want to do...but was too afraid to do?
Yes. I am going there.
Last year you set some cute goals cos well, no one wants to be emotionally left out of the New Years resolution craze and not have goals. However, I am going to call you out here. I am going to bet that there were some goals you SHOULD have set but were too afraid to, OR ones you set and were too afraid to achieve.
Relationships you should have gotten out of, relationships you should have mended, promotions and raises you should have asked for, businesses you should have started, habits you should have kicked and so on, meaningful callings you should have pursued and so on.
You suffocated them with excuses. You pretended like you were ok, like thinks were not as bad...like it was too hard.
What a load of crap. You know better. Don't let this year pass you by again!
5.What did I want to accomplish but procrastinated on or was too lazy to do?
You were lazy, irresponsible and possibly didn't deserve to achieve those goals.
Yes...I am giving you a bit of tough love.
You set those goals (some of them were even great goals) but you farted the year away. You spent more time studying other people on social media than you spent developing yourself. You watched more TV than the ocean watches the sky.
You procrastinated until it got too late. You did not put in the effort required to achieve your goals and for many people reading this, that's why last year kicked your butt. It wasn't demons, its wasn't principalities ...it was YOU.
6.Did my environment support my goals?
You wanted to lose weight so you went to the store and bought everything that had a root and was colored green but your cupboard and pantry remained filled with everything you are trying to avoid. Makes no sense
You determined to surround yourself with positive people so you went looking for them ...but you didn't disconnect from the negative people around you. Stop fooling yourself.
Stop playing this game...you are the only loser in it.
In order to really achieve the goal that you want to achieve, your environment must support that goal. Period.
7.Did I truly digest and apply the meaningful things I learned?
You attended seminars, went to conferences, attended webinars, heard talks, read books, watched events and so on.
Where are the notes right now?
How exactly did you apply what you learned?
Did you even try hard to apply what you learned?...or did you just attend those events to get a fix...to feel good for a moment so you can tell yourself you are "trying"? Before you answer these questions, remember that it's just you reading this and if you can't even be honest with yourself and take responsibility for your outcomes, then I don't even know what to tell you.
8. Should I have set new goals or should I have set new VALUES?
Goals are different from values.
Goals are the end product. Values are the principles, behaviors, and standards that get us there.
Goals come and go. Values remain.
Even when you don't achieve your goals, you will have your values and standards.
Great goals with weak values are useless.
Goals are what we want on the future. Values are WHO we are now.
Maybe you set some good goals last year...but maybe your values were too weak to carry them, or too misdirected to hit them.
9. Did I depend more on my wisdom and abilities or did I depend more on God?
If you are not a person of faith, no big deal. Here is my 2 cents though. There is a somewhat famous verse in the Bible. It's God speaking and it says " I know what I am doing. I have it all planned out - Plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for" (MSG). If God has such feelings towards you, it might be worth considering to seek him out and find out about this "plan". If you need help talking through that, contact me via the blog.
And if you are a person of faith, well, stay prayed up and stay connected knowing that won't give up on you.
Now that you have thought about last year, it's time to move forward and make this year eat last year for lunch.
PART B - LOOKING FORWARD
Now what? where do you go from here?
How do you make this year better than the last?
I think you need a vision and I have created a powerful self-paced vision session to create a God-anchored vision for your life, create the mission areas that drive it, and create the structure in your life that will make it a reality.
Get it here and kick butt this year!
